How owning meme cars actually is

Look at it smiling at you! It's like someone's puppy that always wets your leg because he's as happy as he's stupid. I mean, you're a complete stranger, why is he so happy? Is it because he's got a pure heart? Only puppy knows.

Why did you click on this article? Is it because you have no idea what the Renault Twingo is and you got curious? Or is it because you know exactly what it is since you pass your time scrolling obscure car memes in different forums but you want to find out how it is? Maybe you're just looking for a beater because you live in Europe and before knowing it as a meme-mobile, you got to know it as the French shitbox it is? Doesn't really matter - I'll be glad to tell you about owning it.

I've bought mine just about a month ago for a whooping 400€. That's $445 or £365. BUT. This is not a rustbucket waiting to die, it's a very nice 2003 example with the 16 valve 1.2 liter engine. It has electric mirrors, electric windows, a huge folding roof, fog lights and even a working central lock with remote. It clocked a mere 117.000 km (72,000 miles) and moves, brakes and steers just fine. That money bought me a car like this with inspection still good for way over half a year.

This is the first aspect of Twingo ownership. It doesn't just look friendly - it also does what it can to eat as littlle money from your wallet as it can. It's low emission and low displacement - meaning that you barely pay taxes in most countries. Insurance doesn't cost the world, it's immensively easy to work on - my mechanic asked me if I want a new clutch thrown in because I said it feels like it's biting a little fast and replacing it is just that easy. If you ever need partS (and the Twingo was actually sold where you are), you'll find atleast 2 Twingos in every scrapyard to serve yourself off.

So how's driving it? Cheap. I tried to see how well it does with a full tank of gas, which meant driving it economically. I failed. Why? Because the 75 horses in the DOHC engine that the "newer" models like mine have pack quite the punch and I couldn't keep myself to give it the beans one or two times. Still, I got it to 5,5 liters per 100 km. That's 43 mpg (US) / 52 mpg (UK). Couldn't get it to drink more than 6 liters per 100 km.

The engine is very well balanced, I think what makes it stand out compared to cars like my mates 2011 Kia Picanto or, say, the 1999 Suzuki Wagon R+ I owned, is the extra .2 liters of displacement. See, you probably know how it is to drive a terribly underpowered car in traffic. You either hold everyone up or rev the living hell out of it to just keep up. It only gets worse when manufacturers mess up the gear ratios for whatever reasons, to get good test numbers to advertise or something.

The Twingo is torquey in the lower rev range. Don't expect it to press you in into your seat, but drive it adequate and it moves adequate. Step on it a little and it speeds you right past that slow Hyundai driver going just under the speed limit. This also has to do with the gear ratios being rather short, which is fine for cities (which it really was made for) and back roads - but kinda sucks on the highway. I haven't tested its top speed because I wouldn't know why. All I can say is that maybe its only drawback is that it's a terrible highway car.

It sits somewhat well at 100 kph / 60 mph but you don't really like going faster. It doesn't have a rev-counter (I'll get to the interior in a bit) but my guess is that its doing some 4000+ rpm at that speed in top gear - meaning that it doesn't only not really go much faster, the noise is also very unpleasant. During my mentioned economy test, I had to do about 200 km on the highway, which I drove mostly slightly over 100 kph, which may be why I haven't hit the flat 5 liter per 100 km consumption.

I would still call it suitable for long distance driving. It's a cheap car - you won't get Rolls Royce quietness in it. But it sure as hell is comfortable and practical. Worrying about getting your holiday luggage inside? You should - if you plan on taking your 50" TV screen with you. It'll work out though and I wish I was joking. I legitimately moved my 50" TV in a Twingo a few years back. Reading into the Twingo now, I see that this was intentional. The "Twin" in Twingo is meant to be understood as two, as in "it's replacing two cars", which would be the compact car and the minivan, acording to Manfred Gotta, the marketing strategist behind the hon hon. The seats are also very cushy.

Is it fun to drive though?

Uh, yeah... It's not bad. It gets the job done. That's the Twingo in a nutshell. Gotta move? Gotta get your kids to school? Gotta live in it for a while? Need a raliable and cheap way of transport? It gets the job done. But it's far from a driving machine (duh). It doesn't disconnect you from the driving experience near as much as a modern compact. With the characteristics it has - everything being mechanical, weighing some 700 kg and the nimble engine, it can't not drive well. Yet I can't help but compare driving it to being on a train. Mainly because the speedo is in the center of the dash, equally available to driver and passenger.

Photo: Wikipedia

You don't have a traditional dash in front of you. Only a small bar that indicates stuff like your lights being on or the handbrake being pulled. The car doesn't talk to you when driving. See a speed sign? You check the digital speedo. Underneath your speed you find your fuel level. On the top right corner you can switch between odometer, trip counter and digital clock. That's it. No oil pressure gauge, no temp gauge, no rev counter, nothing. You only check the dash only when it's most necessary, which means rarely.

I've never driven them, but if you want an economy hatch that's also fun to drive, I've been recommended Civics and Peugeot 205s. If you need your weekly therapy drive, the Twingo may do, depending on your needs, but if you've ever driven something sporty (my previous cars include the Celica GT-Four, Skyline GTT and Mazda MX5), you'll feel underwhelmed. Not disappointed, no one would expect the Twingo to compare. But this train-like atmosphere kills driving spirit.

In conclusion, should you buy a Twingo? If you don't much care about spirited driving, would consider yourself as low-standards regarding driving fun, have it as a second car or only need a beater - DEFINITELY YES. If you have a cool 1-car-garage but think about swapping it for a Twingo to be funny - don't.

So how does it compare to the just-as-friendly roadster from Japan? The Miata combines many good aspects of the Twingo with absolute sports car DNA. I have owned two Miatas so far, an NA and an NB. According to most, it's also relatively cheap. Parts are relatively inexpensive to come by, it's relatively cheap to purchase and relatively fuel economical. Something I could confirm. I still hesitate to leave the "relatively" because while put next to somewhat comparable rear-wheel driven sports cars, it's cheap as dirt. However, the Twingo taught me what cheap really means.

I don't know about your country, but here you have to spend north of 3000€ ($3350/£2750) for an MX5 with a humane mileage, no or little rust and a few months worth of inspection. My MX5s drank about twice as much petrol as the Twingo and cost much more in taxes and parts. No matter what anyone says, you can't run an MX5 like an economy car.

Photo: Wikipedia

Is this comparison fair, then? No. Because the MX5 is brillant in what it does. While the Twingo feels like a train, the MX5 feels like a glove. Put a guy behind the wheel of one and let him go fast - you'll notice how he'll self-teach himself driving techniques, especially control of the right foot. I have yet to drive a car that feels as intuitive and direct.

People say it's slow and gay. If you care about what people say, you're not going to enjoy owning one too much. I have been made fun of and at one point flat out bullied for driving them. But owning and driving are two very different things and it is IMPOSSIBLE that you don't enjoy driving it. The power is adequate. It feels fast compared to the Twingo but you'll obviously have trouble keeping up with average midsize sedans in a straight line. Straight lines are not what the Mazda is about though.

Take it to a twisty road or race track and annoy the hell out of people with faster and more expensive cars. On a short downhill twist, I was able to keep up with a 280 bhp Subaru back in my NA. There is no other car like the MX5. Leave me alone with your Fiat Barchetta or Mercedes SLK or whatever you want to pit it against. The package is unique. It's no shitbox by its original meaning, but it's still Mazda-affordable and Mazda-reliable.

When you drive an MX5, it's like everything that's happening outside of the road in front of you disappears from the face of this world. So if you get the chance to own one, do it. No "buts".

Before I finish, I have to add that while morons will trash talk your car, the community around it is just as unique as the car itself. If you buy one, make sure to join MX5 groups on Facebook etc. I've been on a cruise with some 20 other MX5s and they've been some of the nicest and coolest people you can imagine. If you park it at a meet, the right people will give you attention. 

Things are being spoken about for a reason. This wasn't your motoring magazine review, reflecting on this entry, I feel like most of what I'm saying about these cars has been regulary tooted over all sorts of ways, with a mere touch of personal experience. But this only proves that the hype around these cars is very real.

Photocredit title pic: Garage of Luke (Facebook)